This post has been sitting in my lineup, with only a title, since April 20th. I've kind of been afraid to finish it. Afraid to admit that I struggle. Especially since my DH reads my blog.
Before I had a child, I was taught to put your husband first. You chose him first. One day your kids will leave and he'll be the one to stay. The only way your home can be in order and your kids thrive is if you are committed to each other and put each other first.
I heartily agree. I also know heartily agree that it's hard.
Babies are wonderful little creatures. I adore mine, as does my husband.
And babies naturally take a lot of your time. Helpless little beings they are. And I enjoy being their everything (most of the time).
But being everything to one person leaves less than everything for anyone else. Including husbands.
Add in also being an employee, housekeeper, cook, crafter, church member and blogger, just to name a few, and the husband's slice gets even smaller.
But babies are just so loveable, and new, and precious. It's kinda like being in the dating portion of a relationship again. Giddy and exciting. Heartsick and overcome.
I'm sure as the years pass things will settle into a more steadfast love. Just as in marriage, the new will wear off. And that's ok. It's not something you can stop. You just have to be aware and prepared for when it happens.
But I want more than just steady. I want our marriage to thrive. And seeing as how Sophia will likely not be an only child, I better learn to make it thrive while also being a great mom. Because I don't want my marriage to suffer just because we had kids. They bring so much joy to us individually and together. But do we still bring so much joy to each other?
I love seeing John as a dad. He's excellent. But it's hard for us to change from our "momma and papa" hats to our "husband and wife" hats. Children can be all consuming. Just the practicality of bathing, feeding, clothing, diapering, entertaining and protecting a child all day long leaves not too much free time. This little blog of mine has certainly felt the crunch.
At the end of the day if either of us wants to pursue any personal leisure activities like gaming, TV, reading, crafting, blogging etc, it leaves really only minutes of quality time as a couple.
It's hard to find the balance. It's different for each couple. Some are happy and healthy with mostly family time and couple time only once every month or two. Same "date" weekly. Some spend 5 minutes of child free time a day being intensely connected.
I guess I don't know what our balance is yet. Even with free childcare available almost any time, there's still the energy of going out after a possibly long day and the money of eating out or going to a show. It's a matter of being intentional.
I'd be interested to hear the perspective of other moms...
Showing posts with label Self. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self. Show all posts
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Friday, July 26, 2013
Almost "famous"
So this past week I was able to participate in the "Walmart Shopping Cart Challenge".
Through an unlikely chain of events, I heard about this opportunity at work.
A casting agent contacted our marketing director. I don't know if they are friends or what. But my boss's office is across the hall from the marketing director's office, so they are chummy.
Said marketer asked my boss if she had any employees that would be a good fit for this opportunity (Mothers 28-45 years old, not actors or models). "Real Moms" they call it. Apparently there has been a string of commercials like this, but since we don't watch TV, I hadn't seen them!
Anyway, my boss suggested me. I sent in my (very basic) application. The first available date I was the backup mom and was not called in. But this past Tuesday I was the lead mom (but there are 2 lead moms each time they shoot). I was pretty excited. As the date approached and I slowly got more information, I learned that both moms shop, but only one mom is chosen for the commercial.
The premise is- the mom shops at a local grocer competitor, then her items are compared to Walmart prices and the savings are advertised. I was told I could spend up to $250 in groceries and that I would receive a $250 Walmart giftcard for my participation.
So I "pre-shopped" at the competitor store to make my list of items I wanted to purchase while staying in budget. I planned to buy several items I would not usually buy at a grocery only store (like diapers and wipes) and was hoping that would help me be the mom who saved the most and did the commercial.
Then I learned 2 days prior that I could only purchase 40 items. So I re-evaluated my list. Then I learned you can't buy alcohol, cigarettes, prescription drugs or lottery items. No problems there.
When I met the two producers (one local and one corporate rep from Bentonville) Tuesday morning at Starbucks, I found out that we could not buy store brand items or sold-by-weight items. To be fair, we could buy those items, since we get to keep the groceries. BUT- they would not be countable towards the challenge, because for legal reasons, it must be compared against the EXACT same item at Walmart. So it would still be lovely free groceries, but would not help you "win" against the other mom (of course they did not say that, but I knew).
That threw a wrench in the plans. I had not checked to make sure my selected items were sold at Walmart. I had planned to buy 3 family packs (about $20 each) of meat. Especially since I was trying to get as close to $250 as possible but with 40 items or less. Unfortunately they could not go by price per pound. Even if it was the same grade meat. They suggested sticking to things with barcodes if we wanted to make sure the item "counted".
My co-mom (AKA opponent, in my mind) was a little bit older. She told me I would win for sure, because she does not have any babies at home. I thought so too. Surely a case of diapers would better my odds considerably. Formula would have really helped too, but we already use Walmart store brand formula and I wasn't willing to switch Sophia just for the sake of a TV commercial. I think that's a bit beneath me.
So, she went off to shop with one producer and I with another. The competitor shopping is covert. No cameras, just normal shopping. Don't talk about what you're doing, Walmart, Arkansas etc. They give you cash. My producer was a married man, close enough to my age. I imagine we could have appeared to be a couple. He kept track of how many items I was putting in the cart. He put my groceries on the belt in a certain order. I got an extra receipt for them. It was all pretty low-key.
Then we took my purchases to Walmart. I waited in the front a few minutes before the production assistant came to take me to the break room. An associate started scanning my items to see if they were in the Walmart system. I was really disheartened when about half of the first 10 items weren't in the system. My diapers didn't count because Walmart carries them in a 90 count box but the competitor in an 112 count box (for $13 more!). Several of the national brand pre-packaged meats were not in the system. Things were looking dim.
I was then taken to the employee break room where the TV crew and host were. The stylist touched up my makeup and hair just a tiny bit. All the people were very down to earth and I did not feel at all glamorous :) They took headshots of both moms in the produce section. I signed my rights away for them to use my likeness. I made a lunch selection just in case.
I learned this commercial would run for 10 days locally, and would include item prices. Apparently ones without pricing run longer, and sometimes they have you do a radio ad too.
After about an hour, I was dealt my death blow. The other mom had beaten me on savings. I collected my groceries up front, was given my gift card, and went home. I was all done in less than 3 hours.
I must admit my prideful self was a bit deflated. But I think the Lord knew how much I would take pride in that commercial. I've always always dreamed of being "famous". The cool kid. The popular one. Perhaps He knows in his infinite wisdom that I would not do well in that type of life. Or that once in it, I wouldn't be happy. I think of all the young "stars" gone wrong. Hollywood and "the biz" is a corrupt place/life (although there are a few who remain pure).
It's pretty sad to admit that as I was putting away my $230 of free groceries I was not nearly as happy as I should have been. The mom that was chosen actually happens to be a blogger too. And a fairly "big" one by her report. She gets free stuff, free trips and has been in two other commercials for companies she's an affiliate/ambassador for. So I was a bit miffed that she was adding to her fame. Although I put on a happy nonchalant face when they announced I hadn't won and I congratulated the winner, I was really having to tell myself to have those feelings.
Thankfully I did not wallow in self pity too long. By the next day I was over it. After a lot of self talk about it just not being the Lord's plan. And what a blessing the free groceries and gift card were. I have so much to be grateful for, it shouldn't leave room for complaint.
But, I will post a link when the other mom gets the commercial up on her blog, and you can see what might have been! :)
Happy Weekend!
Through an unlikely chain of events, I heard about this opportunity at work.
A casting agent contacted our marketing director. I don't know if they are friends or what. But my boss's office is across the hall from the marketing director's office, so they are chummy.
Said marketer asked my boss if she had any employees that would be a good fit for this opportunity (Mothers 28-45 years old, not actors or models). "Real Moms" they call it. Apparently there has been a string of commercials like this, but since we don't watch TV, I hadn't seen them!
Anyway, my boss suggested me. I sent in my (very basic) application. The first available date I was the backup mom and was not called in. But this past Tuesday I was the lead mom (but there are 2 lead moms each time they shoot). I was pretty excited. As the date approached and I slowly got more information, I learned that both moms shop, but only one mom is chosen for the commercial.
The premise is- the mom shops at a local grocer competitor, then her items are compared to Walmart prices and the savings are advertised. I was told I could spend up to $250 in groceries and that I would receive a $250 Walmart giftcard for my participation.
So I "pre-shopped" at the competitor store to make my list of items I wanted to purchase while staying in budget. I planned to buy several items I would not usually buy at a grocery only store (like diapers and wipes) and was hoping that would help me be the mom who saved the most and did the commercial.
Then I learned 2 days prior that I could only purchase 40 items. So I re-evaluated my list. Then I learned you can't buy alcohol, cigarettes, prescription drugs or lottery items. No problems there.
When I met the two producers (one local and one corporate rep from Bentonville) Tuesday morning at Starbucks, I found out that we could not buy store brand items or sold-by-weight items. To be fair, we could buy those items, since we get to keep the groceries. BUT- they would not be countable towards the challenge, because for legal reasons, it must be compared against the EXACT same item at Walmart. So it would still be lovely free groceries, but would not help you "win" against the other mom (of course they did not say that, but I knew).
That threw a wrench in the plans. I had not checked to make sure my selected items were sold at Walmart. I had planned to buy 3 family packs (about $20 each) of meat. Especially since I was trying to get as close to $250 as possible but with 40 items or less. Unfortunately they could not go by price per pound. Even if it was the same grade meat. They suggested sticking to things with barcodes if we wanted to make sure the item "counted".
My co-mom (AKA opponent, in my mind) was a little bit older. She told me I would win for sure, because she does not have any babies at home. I thought so too. Surely a case of diapers would better my odds considerably. Formula would have really helped too, but we already use Walmart store brand formula and I wasn't willing to switch Sophia just for the sake of a TV commercial. I think that's a bit beneath me.
So, she went off to shop with one producer and I with another. The competitor shopping is covert. No cameras, just normal shopping. Don't talk about what you're doing, Walmart, Arkansas etc. They give you cash. My producer was a married man, close enough to my age. I imagine we could have appeared to be a couple. He kept track of how many items I was putting in the cart. He put my groceries on the belt in a certain order. I got an extra receipt for them. It was all pretty low-key.
Then we took my purchases to Walmart. I waited in the front a few minutes before the production assistant came to take me to the break room. An associate started scanning my items to see if they were in the Walmart system. I was really disheartened when about half of the first 10 items weren't in the system. My diapers didn't count because Walmart carries them in a 90 count box but the competitor in an 112 count box (for $13 more!). Several of the national brand pre-packaged meats were not in the system. Things were looking dim.
I was then taken to the employee break room where the TV crew and host were. The stylist touched up my makeup and hair just a tiny bit. All the people were very down to earth and I did not feel at all glamorous :) They took headshots of both moms in the produce section. I signed my rights away for them to use my likeness. I made a lunch selection just in case.
I learned this commercial would run for 10 days locally, and would include item prices. Apparently ones without pricing run longer, and sometimes they have you do a radio ad too.
After about an hour, I was dealt my death blow. The other mom had beaten me on savings. I collected my groceries up front, was given my gift card, and went home. I was all done in less than 3 hours.
I must admit my prideful self was a bit deflated. But I think the Lord knew how much I would take pride in that commercial. I've always always dreamed of being "famous". The cool kid. The popular one. Perhaps He knows in his infinite wisdom that I would not do well in that type of life. Or that once in it, I wouldn't be happy. I think of all the young "stars" gone wrong. Hollywood and "the biz" is a corrupt place/life (although there are a few who remain pure).
It's pretty sad to admit that as I was putting away my $230 of free groceries I was not nearly as happy as I should have been. The mom that was chosen actually happens to be a blogger too. And a fairly "big" one by her report. She gets free stuff, free trips and has been in two other commercials for companies she's an affiliate/ambassador for. So I was a bit miffed that she was adding to her fame. Although I put on a happy nonchalant face when they announced I hadn't won and I congratulated the winner, I was really having to tell myself to have those feelings.
Thankfully I did not wallow in self pity too long. By the next day I was over it. After a lot of self talk about it just not being the Lord's plan. And what a blessing the free groceries and gift card were. I have so much to be grateful for, it shouldn't leave room for complaint.
But, I will post a link when the other mom gets the commercial up on her blog, and you can see what might have been! :)
Happy Weekend!
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Get fit for baby
So, John and I joined Weight Watchers online. We've both gained and lost and regained weight since we've been married. I was fortunate to get back my pre prego body really quickly. The not so fortunate part is that my pre prego body was darn near 20 pounds heavier than my wedding day body, and about 30 pounds heavier than the thinnest I've been in my adult life.
So once I got through the initial mayhem and chaos of figuring out new motherhood, I felt ready to take on being more purposeful and disciplined about what I eat. We joined online because I knew the biggest part about sticking with WW is logging your food and keeping track of your points. I tried doing it without actually joining, and it's much easier to slack in tracking that way, which leads to slacking in losing weight. So we used some of our Christmas and discretionary money to pay for 3 months, so we could have access to the app for our phone. This makes tracking SO much easier.
We are both wanting to be healthy for Sophia. We don't want to model obesity and poor nutrition for her. We don't want to be too tired to play with her. We don't want her to struggle with weight herself like we both did all our teen and adult years. So we aren't looking for model perfection or wanting to be "skinny," but rather to be healthy and within normal body weight range. I would be happy just to be back down the 20 pounds I've gained since getting married, and thrilled to lose 30 and be back to my "thinnest" me. But I think it's another 20 or 24 pounds from there to not be considered "overweight". I don't know if I have that much sacrifice in me. John however- is planning to get into the ideal body weight range for himself. And I know he can do it, because he is much better at discipline when he does choose to apply it.
It is really nice that we are both doing it. Then neither of us are bringing things into the house that would make the other struggle. In fact, John is good about keeping me on the straight and narrow.
I also want to take advantage of the extra calories I'm burning from breastfeeding. Thankfully WW takes into account whether you are nursing exclusively, or supplementing with formula or food. So I get some extra points but not a ton. I know it will be a rude awakening though when I quit nursing and get like 5 or 10 points taken away.
My first week in I lost 2.something pounds. So, here's to the long road ahead of continuing planned eating, for life.
So once I got through the initial mayhem and chaos of figuring out new motherhood, I felt ready to take on being more purposeful and disciplined about what I eat. We joined online because I knew the biggest part about sticking with WW is logging your food and keeping track of your points. I tried doing it without actually joining, and it's much easier to slack in tracking that way, which leads to slacking in losing weight. So we used some of our Christmas and discretionary money to pay for 3 months, so we could have access to the app for our phone. This makes tracking SO much easier.
We are both wanting to be healthy for Sophia. We don't want to model obesity and poor nutrition for her. We don't want to be too tired to play with her. We don't want her to struggle with weight herself like we both did all our teen and adult years. So we aren't looking for model perfection or wanting to be "skinny," but rather to be healthy and within normal body weight range. I would be happy just to be back down the 20 pounds I've gained since getting married, and thrilled to lose 30 and be back to my "thinnest" me. But I think it's another 20 or 24 pounds from there to not be considered "overweight". I don't know if I have that much sacrifice in me. John however- is planning to get into the ideal body weight range for himself. And I know he can do it, because he is much better at discipline when he does choose to apply it.
It is really nice that we are both doing it. Then neither of us are bringing things into the house that would make the other struggle. In fact, John is good about keeping me on the straight and narrow.
I also want to take advantage of the extra calories I'm burning from breastfeeding. Thankfully WW takes into account whether you are nursing exclusively, or supplementing with formula or food. So I get some extra points but not a ton. I know it will be a rude awakening though when I quit nursing and get like 5 or 10 points taken away.
My first week in I lost 2.something pounds. So, here's to the long road ahead of continuing planned eating, for life.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
The story of my life
is...always wishing, wanting, contemplating, trying and sometimes even succeeding at losing weight.
Currently I'm in a wishing/wanting phase. I look back at our pictures from our wedding and honeymoon and think "who is that girl?" She was thinner, tanner, and just looked more attractive and healthy. The last year has been wonderful for my heart and soul, but not so great for my body. Some days I feel just plain frumpy and huge. I can't imagine how I'll feel during pregnancy someday. It is not a fun feeling.
However, I can't say that I hate the feeling enough that I've made a real effort to change. I have all these great ideas- I'll start walking, I'll do the 5K training program again, I won't eat so much crap. But I've yet to put that into practice. I definitely have always done better exercising in a group or with someone more motivated than me. I don't have that right now.
So, I am thinking I am going to take the "easy" way out for at least the first 5-20 pounds. I don't know if I've ever mentioned it on here, but in December of 2006 I had Lap-Band surgery (which as you can see is not the be-all end-all for everyone). In fact once the "honeymoon" period of drastic weight-loss is over many people re-bound. Perhaps not to morbid obesity but at least to "chunky."
{I lost about 45-50 pounds initially for those who are wondering}
But, I started to have some complications last fall and winter just before the wedding. I had gotten my band tighter in the hopes of losing a few extra pounds before the wedding. It was too tight, way too tight. I could not even keep down water. I had to have it loosened. It was still too tight really. I also got a flu-like illness around the same time. And in all of this, I was having to travel 3 hours and spend about $300 each time it was adjusted. I was miserable. So, I made the decision to have it completely loosened. At the time I was wearing a size 12. I just decided to let go and enjoy my engagement, wedding and honeymoon. And I did, very much.
But fast-forward a year and I have gained probably about 15 pounds (refuse to get on scale for now). None of my size 12 pants fit. My new "fat" pants are tight. My first anniversary and hopefully warmer weather (which means the beach) are approaching.
So, I have decided to look into tightening the band again. But much more conservatively this time. I know that I will have to train my mind again too that I will only be able to eat VERY small amounts at a time. My brain still has never learned to separate food from pleasure. I will still have to keep working on that.
But, I am contemplating it. Also going to look into seeing if I could get a local provider and have it covered under health insurance. If not, I'll be making the $300 3hr trip I reckon.
As far as the tan and blond- it appears that I will have to wait until it's warm enough to let the sun tan me or settle for tanning lotion. Alas, my husband cares too much for me to allow me to visit the "sun" beds I love so much. I have not done it since the wedding.
The blond- the jury is out. For now I am just letting the color and faint highlights I had fade naturally and see where it goes. Maybe add more highlights towards spring. Who knows.
Anyway, I will update ya'll on what I find out and what I do.
Here's to better days.
Currently I'm in a wishing/wanting phase. I look back at our pictures from our wedding and honeymoon and think "who is that girl?" She was thinner, tanner, and just looked more attractive and healthy. The last year has been wonderful for my heart and soul, but not so great for my body. Some days I feel just plain frumpy and huge. I can't imagine how I'll feel during pregnancy someday. It is not a fun feeling.
However, I can't say that I hate the feeling enough that I've made a real effort to change. I have all these great ideas- I'll start walking, I'll do the 5K training program again, I won't eat so much crap. But I've yet to put that into practice. I definitely have always done better exercising in a group or with someone more motivated than me. I don't have that right now.
So, I am thinking I am going to take the "easy" way out for at least the first 5-20 pounds. I don't know if I've ever mentioned it on here, but in December of 2006 I had Lap-Band surgery (which as you can see is not the be-all end-all for everyone). In fact once the "honeymoon" period of drastic weight-loss is over many people re-bound. Perhaps not to morbid obesity but at least to "chunky."
{I lost about 45-50 pounds initially for those who are wondering}
But, I started to have some complications last fall and winter just before the wedding. I had gotten my band tighter in the hopes of losing a few extra pounds before the wedding. It was too tight, way too tight. I could not even keep down water. I had to have it loosened. It was still too tight really. I also got a flu-like illness around the same time. And in all of this, I was having to travel 3 hours and spend about $300 each time it was adjusted. I was miserable. So, I made the decision to have it completely loosened. At the time I was wearing a size 12. I just decided to let go and enjoy my engagement, wedding and honeymoon. And I did, very much.
But fast-forward a year and I have gained probably about 15 pounds (refuse to get on scale for now). None of my size 12 pants fit. My new "fat" pants are tight. My first anniversary and hopefully warmer weather (which means the beach) are approaching.
So, I have decided to look into tightening the band again. But much more conservatively this time. I know that I will have to train my mind again too that I will only be able to eat VERY small amounts at a time. My brain still has never learned to separate food from pleasure. I will still have to keep working on that.
But, I am contemplating it. Also going to look into seeing if I could get a local provider and have it covered under health insurance. If not, I'll be making the $300 3hr trip I reckon.
As far as the tan and blond- it appears that I will have to wait until it's warm enough to let the sun tan me or settle for tanning lotion. Alas, my husband cares too much for me to allow me to visit the "sun" beds I love so much. I have not done it since the wedding.
The blond- the jury is out. For now I am just letting the color and faint highlights I had fade naturally and see where it goes. Maybe add more highlights towards spring. Who knows.
Anyway, I will update ya'll on what I find out and what I do.
Here's to better days.
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