Mommy stream of unconsciousness

How come these other mommy bloggers I read don't mention how hard motherhood is???
Maybe they don't want to scare people.

We are on an all day car trip so I'm trying mobile posting. Please excuse the disorganized format. My brain is fairly fried anyway.

Since Sophie arrived:
-trip to the lactation consultant that included crying from me, Sophie and consultant (who's pregnant also). Was given nipple shields. Or silicone life savers, as I call them.
-two trips to the pediatrician. Still has the hemorrhage in her eyes, but improving a little. She's 4 ounces under weight. Pedi wants to wait and see. She is scheduled to have the frenulum under her tongue snipped next Wednesday. Hopefully she'll eat better and eventually not need the shields.
- I've made two trips out alone. I was scared at first. One was for a Mani pedi and she did great. I fed her while they did my toes. She's good at shopping because the bouncing of the cart puts her to sleep.
- it's great that she sleeps, but I get really anxious if she sleeps a lot during the evening, because then she wants to be up at night. And that's awful.
- I nurse her to sleep, once she's been changed and tightly swaddled. But sometimes she wakes up 5-10 minutes later. When I hear her rousing my blood runs cold.
- I've already done several things I said I wouldn't. I understand why people do them now. Babies can't thrive if momma ain't surviving.
- it's true everyday is a little better. But its impossible to fathom that when you're at about day 3.
- Sophie eats for 30-60 minutes each feed. It's really hard to get anything done.
- "Sleep when the baby sleeps" is great advice. I commend those who can follow it. I try to get one nap in with her during the day. But if I slept when she did there'd be no eating, showering, or any basic human functions going on. I can't just let go of all my other responsibilities.
- The postpartum hormone adjustment sucks. The sleep deprivation and isolation doesn't help. Days 4-8 were hard with lots of crying. But that's normal.
- My stitches dissolved starting day 6. I started feeling much better after that. I almost feel back to normal in that regard. Hard to believe.
-Sophie is still peeling like a snake. Poor scaly baby.
-Her cord stump came off day ten at about 3am. But there's still some left in there. Pedi said no soaking belly button til it's fully gone.
-My deodorant has become less effective. I put on tons but still smell myself by the next morning. Must be my hormones. Hope it levels out. Otherwise I gotta find a new one.
-I lost about 13 pounds the day I delivered. By day 9 I was 3 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. So 21 pounds lost. Toot toot. But I wasn't trying. Thank you breastfeeding. I know I'm not, but I feel skinny. Its really nice. I was able to put away all my maternity clothes.

And I'll end with some photos of the star of the show.