Time Flies When You Have a Baby

I knew it had been a while since I posted. So long that I had to go back and look at my last post to see how "far" in life I'd chronicled here. I can't believe it's only 4 days short of a month! Where did the time go.

Well, the time went to work, cleaning, traveling and lots of feeding, rocking and kissing.

I love Sophia so much, I could just squish her. Sure sometimes I wonder when I'll ever get projects completed since they are squeezed into naptime and bedtime. Sure I care a little less about tidiness these days. But cuddles and kisses are more important. I do have to admit it still wears on me mentally when I can't check stuff all the to do list.

What all has been going on around here? Well, Sophia had her first Easter. She was a doll baby. In fact just the other day from afar someone thought she was a baby doll :) She is just that pretty. I don't know how I got such a dainty attractive baby.

We went out to our church's camp ground Easter afternoon. They had an egg hunt for the adults. Two egss had big prizes. John found one and it had 2 movie tickets, a Chick-fil-a gift card, $20 and some candy. Jackpot! I'm married to a winner!

Two days after Easter Sophie had her 4 mo appointment. She is right on track for development. She was 25 inches and 14.5 pounds, putting her in the 75-90 percentile for height and the 50-75 percentile for weight. She is now in 3-6 month clothes. She rolls back to front all the time. This has disrupted her sleep some since she hasn't figured out rolling back just yet. She also has laughed a few times. It is the cutest thing, her little giggle. She and I both light up when she laughs.

She's starting to chew more. I ordered her a Sophie Giraffe. I hope she likes it! I'm convinced there should be a baby gear rental service. It's such a shame to buy something only to discover your child didn't care for it or outgrew it too quickly. I don't know if it's teething, or just getting older, or the change in environment (we took a trip) but her routine is so off. Her eating is hit and miss, she VERY easily distracted when eating, she's napping less and at inopportune times. At least she still does pretty good at night. But I'm really anxious to get her back on some form of schedule or routine again, but that's hard to do when you work all day then have a function at night too.

Work has been pretty busy. In fact I didn't leave until almost 6 today. I would have left at 4:45 but when I made my final rounds a fellow co-worker was near crying she was so overwhelmed. I miss the time with Sophia and I was pretty tired, but I was glad to make her Friday afternoon better.

I've told work I would like to go down to 2 days when our staffing levels allow, but with one person out on bedrest and then maternity leave, and another going on maternity leave in 6 weeks or so, I'm not sure how soon that will happen :(

I'm finding work still is affecting my breastfeeding. At least once a day I think about quitting. Mainly because I can only find time to pump once at work, and even then I feel guilty if we are busy. And when are we not? I call it the triple P break- Pump, Pee and ______. Inevitably potty time and pump time run into each other. By the time I potty, setup the pump, pump and put away the pump, I'm gone like 30 minutes.

At this point, if it weren't for the Weight Watchers points and that I think overall it is helping me to lose weight I would probably quit. That's really the only motivation I have left. We had gotten on the right foot again as far as Sophia latching on, provided I didn't let her get too hungry. I was only pumping at work and I loved it. But then the distraction phase set in. And then I worked more. And the last 3-4 days she is back to crying and frustration at the breast. It's kinda pitiful and hard to watch your baby arch away from you and scream. The rejection hurts me a little. Maybe more than a little. Pitiful baby.

Overall motherhood is great. I just wish it didn't bring so much angst and guilt sometimes. But when I feel that way I try to soak in the sight of my smiling baby and take a deep breath. 

At the dog beach

Popcorn and a movie anyone?