To feed or not to feed, that is the question

That I'm always answering. It seems my nursing routine has been not ideal from the start.
Things would go good for awhile, then be tough.

We've been supplementing since 3 weeks old. We've been using a bottle for supplementing since 4 or 5 weeks old. Then I went back to work part time and of course those days it's all bottle.

A few weeks ago, I just realized how tired I was at fighting Sophia to nurse. Every feeding but the first one of the day I'd jump through all these hoops to try and get her to nurse. She cry, pull away, whimper or just outright scream. Not fun. Sometimes I just couldn't get her to, and then I'd have to drag out the pump instead. And then remember to pump at work. My supply is so little that I could go about 8 hours without nursing and be ok, but that's not good for keeping up the supply. And dragging my pump to work was fairly inconvenient, especially since I don't have a dedicated area to leave my things in.

Anyway, I'd been toying with the idea of stopping. She already gets 80% of her nutrition from formula because I only produce about 20% of what she needs. But, I know some breastmilk is better than none, and I was sad about losing that closeness. But it was so much hassle for the "some" breastmilk. The 6ish ounces a day breastmilk. And after one full day at home fighting at almost every feed, I decided to quit.

So I went about the business of wearing a sports bra with cabbage leaves. For 24 hours. But after a full day and night my boobs were really hurting. So I nursed her for the first feed of the day. Then I put on some more cabbage and added an ace wrap. The next morning things were much more comfortable, and I decided to just nurse once a day, because she usually does well first thing in the morning.

So that's where we are now. I've trained the supply to only make enough for once a day. It's going alright. Because my boobs are no longer about to pop first thing in the morning, I still have to coax her to nursing some. She's also just easily distracted at eating time in general. But, for now I'm willing to beg her into nursing if it's just once a day. I really do want her to have the immunity benefits.

So that's where we are. Don't know how long until I just quit altogether. I do know- if you're planning to stop nursing it's much more comfortable to wean down the amount gradually than go cold turkey. Those can be an uncomfortable 2-3 days!