Gratitude- Miss Manners

So I've been thinking quite a bit about social customs through reading blogs and personal experiences, especially as it relates to propriety.

Since I've got a couple areas I'd like to cover, I've decided on a new label, "Miss Manners". Where I'll post what the proper social rules are and my personal opinions and experiences. I've sort-of already covered RSVPs. I did not include a direct quote from Emily Post, but here's a great article on RSVPs as it pertains to weddings:Be a gracious wedding guest not a royal pain

Today we'll discuss obligations of the host or recipient, rather the the guest or giver, the infamous and mostly forgotten Thank You card. Remember this series is Miss Manners, not Miss Grammar. Please ignore my punctuation and capitalization issues.

In our "now" and "paperless" society, the art of delayed written communication is almost extinct. We love to design wonderful invitations and Christmas card, but forget the follow up of written thank you notes.

I myself lack in this. It really is polite to send thank you's even after something as small as a dinner, especially when the host invites you to their home. I have the best intentions of doing this, and almost always forget to actually do it.

But when is a simple thank you when receiving the gift appropriate, and when should you put pen to paper to show you are both thoughtful and grateful? You can never go wrong asking Emily Post.

The article confirmed just what I suspected- written thank you's are expected for any shower gift. And wedding gifts should be acknowledged within 3 months of receipt of the gift. That was a little different than my thought of 3 months from the wedding.

At showers- a popular trend has started to have envelopes on a table and to have the guests write their address on them to make things easier on the "thanker". While a highly practical idea, I can't shake the feeling of being a bit miffed. I think part of the expectation of a thank you is that, if I as the giver put for the effort, time and money to select, purchase, wrap and deliver a gift to you, the minimum expected in return is that you spend around a dollar and 5 minutes of time to write and address a card.

And in all reality, if you were able to attend a shower that you likely already received an invitation to, shouldn't someone already have your address? Shouldn't you be that close to the recipient of your gift?


Perhaps I'm sounding snotty with my reasoning, but even the simple reasoning of being a grateful gift-receiver is reason enough. Don't be so quick to take gifts for granted. Everyone appreciates being well-thanked.