Lost in translation so much frustration

Let me take a moment to share a fail of the US Postal Service (USPS). To be honest, I've overall always had good service from USPS. But over the last few weeks they have fallen out of favor with me.

You see, I ordered this shower curtain for our master bath. Of course I just could not wait to get it!!!! Right now all I have is a clear plastic liner. It was ruffled from top to bottom and so very Anthropologie-esque and was only $25!

I was notified by United Parcel Service (UPS) that my item shipped out on the 30th. Of course, I ordered it a couple days before and had it shipped to my current address, as we were not sure when we would close on the house. Well I found out that afternoon that we would close in a few days, so I put in a change of address.
Per UPS, my package was delivered to the local USPS office for delivery on the 3rd. This is where it all went wrong.

On the 4th, I received notification from UPS that USPS had an exception that the package was "undeliverable as addressed" and to contact sender for further assistance. But yet the name and address on all correspondence was correct. It said the local carrier could not deliver as addressed. Odd because we were getting other mail. So I asked USPS online for a redelivery and to please contact me. They did and I was told that since I put in a mail forward, the package had gone to Jacksonville to be sorted and redelivered as that is where "package forwarding" is done for my area. It took another 5 days for it to get to Jacksonville. Per the online updated it arrived back in my city (again!) on the 11th very early. And then I heard nothing. for 4 days. So I called USPS again. At first they tried to tell me the package was returned to the sender. I explained that I was told prior that it was in the forwarding system. They could not tell me anything more than the online status- that it arrived in the sort facility in my city 5 days ago.

I was told they would "look into it" and someone would call me back within 24 hours. Well, I gave them 25 and no call. So I called them. I was told again that my package was returned to the sender. I had to tell the entire story (a third time) about what I had been told and questioned why they could not locate and deliver a package (within the same city) for 6 stinking days!!!! The rep offered to "have them look into it and call me back in 24 hours". I was peeved and demanded a supervisor. The supervisor informed me that indeed they did look into it and their final determination was that the package was returned to the sender undeliverable as addressed. She even confirmed the package came to my city, went to Jacksonville, came back to my city and THEN went back to the sender. I was TICKED!!!! So the following day I called the sender about having a replacement sent (a full two weeks after it was supposed to have arrived) and they gladly obliged and told me this time my package would arrive UPS only. All was well and per UPS, my package is scheduled to arrive tomorrow.

But then... today I got a voicemail from the "consumer affairs" department at USPS. No details, they just asked me to call back. I honestly thought they were calling to apologize or get the details of the whole thing so they could prevent it in the future, or something. Well, I was not able to call them back til after work. By then I had a second missed call and voicemail from them. I skipped listening to the second and called them back. At two minutes until the end of their business day, I called back and they'd already left. I let them know I was calling during business hours and no one answered and to please leave me a detailed voicemail as I cannot make personal calls at work.

After I hung up, I listened to the second voicemail. Well let me tell you, it was detailed. They were letting me know that my package was available for pickup at my local post office. Didn't say which one or give a phone number. Just to talk to "so and so" at my local post office. But here's the real kicker- they told me there was a $7 and some change fee due on the package "since it had to be forwarded". Are you freaking serious?!?!?!?! I've called 4 times about this and been told wrong information twice and my package is 17 days late and you think I'm going to come get it and give YOU money?

So I left them another nice voicemail that I'd been told twice it was returned to the sender and they were already mailing a replacement and there was NO WAY I was coming to pay a fee or pickup that package and they could tell the "local post office" to send it back!!

Errrrrrrrrgh. Those kind of things frustrate me so much! And there's no real recourse, because it's the federal government.

Anyway, I would not suggest using the UPS to USPS service. They can't seem to get it straight.