Friday, August 27, 2010

I've run the gamut this week

This week has been quite the cornucopia of events. Monday- went in for Federal Jury Selection. Oh lucky me- I got picked! Actually, I really was hoping I would. Just a break from the ordinary work grind, and I thought it could be interesting. The trial started that very day. Then- when I got done with that late in the afternoon, I grabbed dinner, went back to grandma's, helped John load our stuff into the car so we could go home, then he left for home and I headed to the hospital to pick up the invalid, lol :) Got her all settled in for the night around 9:45. In bed for 11:30. Trial again the next day til noon, then a recess for the day. So I headed off to work. Fun. Trial again Wednesday until 3pm. Took us three hours to decide guilty on all 3 counts (drug related). 

Just as I claimed my phone at the security desk, had a voicemail from grandma that my oldest dog Rudy (who lives with her) is very sick. Went to get him- he was in really bad shape. Panting like crazy and drooling. As I drove to our vet, it hit me. "I think this dog has CHF (Congestive Heart Failure)". Trying not to cry. He is 13 or 14, so I kinda knew this was coming. Start bursting into tears as I tell the vet tech his symptoms. The vet orders immediate x-rays and blood work, they give him oxygen and medicine to make him pee off the fluid in his abdomen and lungs. She brings in the x-rays. His heart and liver are both enlarged and there is a lot of fluid in his belly. It's heart failure. She says we can try overnight hospital stay, medications, EKG's; but that he would be on at least 3 meds permanently and would need lab work monitored regularly. After talking it over with mom, I just knew we couldn't put him through all that given his age. The vet was very understanding and said that it probably was the best decision. Oh my, that was hard. I was hoping he would make the decision for me, but in the end... I had to let him go myself. So they brought my little old man in. The one and only dog I ever owned from 14-25. The little old man who's been with me for 12 years, who has been snatched from the jaws of death several times before. But this time, death would have it's say. It would send him off peacefully. I tried to call John but in some weird turn of events, his phone went to voicemail but never rang. Later I found that my phone didn't even register a dialed call to him. Anyway, being a nurse, I knew I could force myself to handle it. Put on my big girl panties. So, they brought in my first dog, heaving and panting, and both the vet and I knew this was the best choice. As I stood there, whispering in his ear and petting him, he laid down from the sedative and never got up again. It was quiet. The vet gave him the actual shot, listened until his heart quit beating, and then little Rudy went to doggy heaven. Looking back, I wish I would have actually held him. But he was so sick, I just let him lay there while I stroked him. I know I didn't really matter to him, but I just wish I could have squeezed him tight one last time, felt his soft ears against my lips. After it was done, I spent just a few minutes with him, and left. I came home to my poochies here, who still needed walking and feeding and attention. And I dried my tears. And I am ok unless I think about it or tell it again, so I've now cried about 4 more times since. Going to bed the night of was hard. I cried for a long time. I'm not so much sad for him, because he was old and feeble and had a long life, but I just remember all the times of cuddling and silent understanding he brought me. He was a good dog.

But, life moves on quickly. I have 2 dogs here ready and waiting to love me. I did go in about 3 hours late to work Thursday. That day also happened to be my grandma's birthday. So we had dinner over there. Today I worked, rearranged and cleaned in John's office, went to the chiropractor, out to eat, and watched "Diary of a Wimpy Kid." And now here I sit, updating all of you.

It was weird being cut-off from the world during Jury Duty. They take your phone. You only get it at lunch and at the end of the day when you leave. But I did get to meet a diverse group of people. I was the youngest by 15 years or so. And I volunteered to be foreperson. That was kinda neat too.
So guys, that's what I've been up to.

Illness, Jury Duty, Work, Death and Birthdays. All in the span of 5 days. I am really glad to be back in my own house and my own bed.

Here's hoping everyone else's week was a little more mundane. If variety is the spice of life, 
my plate is well-seasoned :)


  1. I'm sorry, hon, about Rudy's passing. I didn't know. I know how much you loved him, sweet old guy. My dear Hershey had to be put to sleep during spring break this year. He was convulsing and it was just his time to go. I had 14 years of loving him. I did get to hold him while he passed...I asked to. I wanted to be the last one. I still miss him. In fact, your blog brought tears to my eyes once again. Meg, our Welsh corgi is a precious loving thing, but our first dogs catch our heartstrings like no other!

  2. tis true. BTW- did not know you had a blog. Just started following :)


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