Is this what Kate Gosselin feels like?

So I got the bright idea to try taking 4 dogs to the groomer, alone.

I was under directive to make sure all their nails were trimmed and filed, so as not to ruin clothes and flesh.
Usually we just trim them at home, but that does still leave the edges pretty sharp for awhile. We've tried the PediPaws and it causes such horrific behavior it's just not worth it.

I knew it was going to be an event as soon as I hooked all 4 canines to their leashes before leaving the house. There was a lot of pulling and tangling of leads.

Once I finally got to Petsmart, George, the dachshund who thinks he's a pit bull, immediately started barking like a rabid animal at every customer who passed by. And heaven forbid they saw another dog in the store. It's a good thing their collars fit tight enough to keep them from slipping out.

Well by the time I'd reached the back of the store where the grooming department is, I had already drawn a crowd. Three employees came to check on me, since my brood was making such a ruckus that I'm sure they thought a fight was going on.

I could see that there was another dog in the grooming area checkout with it's owner, and not wanting to try and control four dogs contained in a 4ft by 8ft area with another dog, I decided to wait outside the door until they were done. I struck up conversation with a mother and daughter waiting for their dog who was already being groomed. It helped me feel less awkward about the other shoppers nearby who were secretly watching the scene unfold. The conversation on my end went something like this: "These aren't all mine. NO! I would never have 4 dogs by choice. STOP IT! I should have never come here by myself, I'm crazy. QUIT BARKING!"

Then the nice store manager came to my rescue. He was extremely friendly and helpful. He did not act like anything was a problem. Instead he petted all the dogs and then offered to take them off my hands one at a time to go into the grooming area. Thankfully about 5 groomers were on staff that day and they each took a dog to quickly tame their Raptor-claws. This part went pretty smoothly with only a couple freak-outs on the dog's part.

Unfortunately since 3 of the 4 dogs had never been there before the checkout took longer than the service. Inputting rabies certificates, names, addresses and such. I was hoping to go to the register (at the very front of the store) and pay before they were done so I did not have to drag them through that. Well, that did not happen. In fact, I ended up waiting in the grooming area holding four dogs while trying to get my invoice, while they were intermittently barking and twisting their leads into something that resembled Medusa's hair. In fact at one point a lady opened the door to bring in her dog, and she was actually going to walk in, with my pack there barking like they were set to kill. Thankfully, the groomer asked her to please wait outside a few minutes.

So everything got straightened out and I headed to the front, 4 dogs in tow. Everyone in the store knew all my movements with my 4 personal alarms going off. I even braved it to stop on one aisle and pickup a bag of rawhides (for the sake of my sanity on the ride home). Even waiting in line at the cashier went fairly smoothly. They got petting and love from several other customers. They couldn't go far because by this time they'd tangled their leads into only having a few inches of slack each.

And after a treat for each of them from the cashier, I made it out the door. Sanity half-intact. I wish I had photos of it to show you. Or maybe an incriminating video. But of course, I had no extra hands. I did, however, take a picture of their leashes after the outing.

The ride home was thankfully fairly quiet. Everyone's jaws were busy working a rawhide.

And as I write this I realize George has chewed a hole in the electric blanket and severed the internal wires. Great. Lucky for him it was off. Unlucky for us it was off. It's a good thing he's cute and is now laying on me looking up with those pitiful eyes and saying "What Aunt Momma? I love you."

Turd.